My Uncle Richard

One of the first memories I have of my Uncle Richard was that I liked him. He was visiting us at our home on Marconi Court in North York and was sleeping on the fold out couch in our den. I think that I was 4 or 5 years old and Richard was in his late teens.
The problem with someone sleeping in the den was that it was the room with the only television in the house. I'm pretty sure that my sister Hayley and I probably made some noise to help him wake up but when he did wake up he watched cartoons with us. Bullwinkle cartoons.
No older person watched cartoons with us.

That was a true sign of an adult that we could trust. The Bullwinkle Bond was strong.

Here is an amusing story similar to the one above.
Years later when I was in my early teens my family travelled to New York to stay with Richard and his family.
My cousin Lisa was just a little thing at the time.
I was assigned the couch in the downstairs family room to sleep on.
Guess where the television was?
My little cousin Lisa was ordered not to wake me up even though she was dying to get down there and watch TV.
I remember as soon as I opened my eyes I was looking directly up at Lisa who was sitting patiently at the top of the stairs staring at me waiting for me to wake up. As soon as my eyes opened Lisa came flying down and turned the TV on and we watched cartoons together.

Another memory I have from when I was small is of Uncle Richard and I cruising down the old Trans Canada highway at night along the Saint John River from Fredericton towards Moncton listening to Johnny Cash on the 8 track player. I specifically remember listening to "Ring of Fire".
I remember that I liked it a lot and even being as young as I was I knew that the whole situation was very cool.

It's funny but on the day Johnny Cash died I remember being woken up with the radio playing that song. As soon as I heard it I thought of that night driving along with Richard. I still do actually.

One time our family travelled to Clinton, New York where Richard and his family lived and he was playing hockey with the Clinton Comets. We really enjoyed that game. I still have the program somewhere.

Here is Richard's career information from www.hockeydb.com.

Rich Scammell
Wing
Born -- Fredericton, NB
Height 6.00 -- Weight 200

1963-64 with Peterborough Petes of the OHA - 17 GP, 3 G, 0 A, 3 Pts, 0 PIM
1964-65 with Peterborough Petes of the OHA - 27 GP, 1 G, 3 A, 4 Pts, 0 PIM
1966-67 with R.P.I. of the ECAC - 24 GP, 27 G, 29 A, 56 Pts, 63 PIM
1967-68 with R.P.I. of the ECAC - 22 GP, 23 G, 23 A, 46 Pts, 24 PIM
1968-69 with R.P.I. of the ECAC - 21 GP, 19 G, 16 A, 35 Pts, 28 PIM
1970-71 with Clinton Comets of the EHL - 18 GP, 8 G, 3 A, 11 Pts, 9 PIM
1971-72 with Clinton Comets of the EHL - 45 GP, 16 G, 21 A, 37 Pts, 8 PIM

Speaking of programs. This photo is from the 1980/81 Les Canadiens book which the team gave out to detail the team and stats.
As often happens, they missed one of the "L"s in Scammell. Ah well. At least it's a good photo.

As you can see, Richard became a scout with the Montreal Canadiens. I decided that since he is family and I liked him that Montreal was going to be my favourite team.

I should mention that I've been the kind of hockey fan that a team doesn't want to have.
I was a Minnesota North Stars fan when Danny Grant played there since he is a good friend of the family.
I was a Toronto Maple Leafs fan until Richard worked for Montreal.
However, I also loved Boston because Bobby Orr was there.
I cheered for Toronto to win their games unless the game was against Montreal. Then it flipped to Montreal.
Richard left Montreal several years ago so my loyalty there was reduced after that.

As I mentioned, one of Richard's best friends and Scammell family pal is hockey legend Danny Grant.
Danny and another hockey star, Buster Harvey, used to put on a summer hockey school here in Fredericton.
Several times we came from Ontario to Fredericton for vacation to visit family and stay with my grandmother and I would go to the hockey school.
Richard was one of the instructors along with other NHL players such as Gilles Gilbert and Fred Barrett.
It was a great school but I'm afraid it didn't do much to improve my minimal hockey skills.
It was pretty cool telling my friends that I was going to a school in New Brunswick that was taught by professional hockey players and my uncle was one of them!

The photo above is, left to right, Danny Grant, my friend Lyle who came with us from Ontario that year, power skating instructor Harold Joyce, Buster Harvey, myself, Gilles Gilbert, and Richard.

These days I don't think I even have a true favourite team. It depends on what's going on.
I liked the Leafs last season while they were doing really well but after the stunning crash and burn in the playoffs that felt like a kick to the gut I hated them. I still haven't gotten over that.

I'll tell you something though.
It was always much easier to be a Montreal fan in Toronto when I was young than being a Leaf's fan. Montreal was regularly winning the Stanley Cup while the Leafs haven't been close for years.

My father has always been the fan a team wants. He's a diehard Leaf's fan and will watch every single game. When we lived in Ontario if he happened to go to a game he would still record it and watch it when he got home!
Even when his brother was with the Montreal organization Dad stuck with the Leafs.

I don't recall how it came up but a few years ago Richard and I were talking about the Fredericton Sports Wall of Fame and wondering why Richard had not been nominated for it before.
I also discussed the matter with another of Richard's best pals and former Fredericton Mayor Les Hull and we set out to gather information and submit a nomination.

This was about 3 or 4 years ago I believe.
We didn't hear anything until this year.

Back in March Richard called me asking if I would be able to attend a press conference at the Fredericton City Club for the announcement of this year's inductees on his behalf. It made no sense for him to travel up from New York for a press conference.
Of course I attended. It was an honour to represent him.

Here is the press release about Richard from that day. As you see his greatest accomplishments may not have been what he did himself but what he did for others.

2014 INDUCTEE WALL OF FAME BUILDER

Richard Scammell

Fredericton native Richard Scammell played in the Fredericton minor hockey system and in junior hockey with the Ontario Hockey Association's Peterborough Petes before attending Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute on a hockey scholarship from 1965-69 where he led the team in scoring twice. He played two professional seasons with the Clinton Comets of the Eastern Hockey League before suffering an injury which ended his playing career at age 26.
He then turned his attention to scouting for the Montreal Canadiens, a position he held for 28 years. Scammell scouted seventy-three players that went on to play for the Habs. The team won six Stanley Cups in his time on the scouting staff. He also refereed Division 1 hockey in the Troy, NY area for nine years, including two games in which the U.S. Olympic team faced off against RPI in 1976 and 1980.
Richard has been inducted into the RPI Athletics Hall of Fame as well as the Capital District Hockey Association Hall of Fame. However, his most enduring legacy is the founding and development of a girls' hockey program in upstate New York. He started the Troy-Albany Ice Cats in 1993. The program now encompasses five teams at different age levels that have won five New York State championships in their 20-year history. The program has sent more than 65 girls on to university hockey programs at the Division 1 or Division 2 level. Two others have gone on to play lacrosse for national championship teams and one plays softball at the NCAA Division 1 level.

On May 3 the induction ceremony took place at the Delta hotel (which is also the location of the wall).
Cheryl and I attended as well as my father and step-mother. We were seated at a table right at the front of the room near the stage. Also at our table were Danny and Linda Grant and of course Uncle Richard and my aunt Denise.
What a great ceremony! We had a blast!
I’ve been to more big dinners than I can count for various associations, organizations, weddings or political things and usually have a hard time keeping focused on the stage. This time was completely different. The stories told by presenters and the recipients themselves were fantastic.
It was the largest attendance in the history of the event.

Click on the picture below to see the full size of the room.

The Room.

Richard and a few of the other recipients.

Richard and Danny Grant.

All of the recipients of the evening

Linda Grant, Richard, Danny Grant, my aunt Denise Scammell

Rather than try to detail the event I’ll let you read Bill Hunt’s article from the Daily Gleaner the next day.
Great work with reporting and the details, Bill. Awesome job.

Record turnout for Wall of Fame inductions

BILL HUNT Fredericton Daily Gleaner
May 4, 2014

For Richard Scammell, it was good to be home.
The 67-year-old Fredericton native is already a member of three sports halls of fame in his adopted home town of Troy, N.Y. But there’s something special about being a hero in your hometown – as Scammell and the other members of the Fredericton Sports Wall of Fame class of 2014 discovered at the 23rd annual induction ceremonies at the Delta Hotel on Saturday night.
Before a record crowd of 400 guests – who combined for an unofficial record eight standing ovations, including the one for recently crowned world senior men’s curling champions Wayne Tallon, Mike Flannery and Chuck Kingston – Scammell and friends took their places among the growing list of Fredericton sports immortals.
Scammell’s sporting exploits as a hockey player, scout and founder of a thriving girls hockey program have earned him membership in the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute Athletics Hall of Fame, the Capital District Hockey Association Hall of Fame and the Friends of the 112th Street Sports Hall of Fame. Prestigious honours all.
But “it’s my hometown, so I’m going to say (this is) number one,” said Scammell, who left Fredericton at age 16 – two years after the death of his father – for Peterborough, Ont., where he joined Danny Grant with the Petes.

Their paths diverged from there: Grant went on to a long National Hockey League career and Scammell went on to a scholarship at RPI, where he played hockey, graduated and has worked since 1965. He is currently the Director of Research Administration at the upstate New York school.
Through it all, he incorporated a full and fruitful 28-year career as a scout for the Montreal Canadiens which saw 79 players he recommended be drafted by the Habs, 29 of whom made it to the NHL, and the founding of a girls hockey program in upstate New York, the Troy Albany Ice Cats. He founded the program 21 years ago, in 1993, two of his three daughters played in it, and next year, his nine-year-old granddaughter Emily will begin in the U12 rung of the program.
“I look around and I see so many people that I know and that I haven’t seen for years,” said Scammell, who thanked the guests who were there to help him celebrate and said he planned to visit the Pine Grove Nursing Home on Sunday to tell his mom, 102-year-old Annie McCullough, of the honour.
“It’s great being back home so I can share this evening with my family and friends,” he said. “Everybody should be proud of all the inductees tonight. I think they’re a very good example of what people from Fredericton are and can be.”

The class of 2014 ran the gamut, from track and cross-country athlete Wayne Stewart, who drew loud cheers from some 60 supporters in the track community who were there to recognize a career highlighted by his competing as a member of the Canadian cross country team at the world championships in Dusseldorf, Germany, in 1977; to golfer Kathy Meagher, still building on a resume that includes at least one provincial championship in each of the five decades in which she has played and titles in each of the junior, amateur, senior and super senior classes; to Fredericton’s dominant senior softball squads in the first half of the decade of the 1980s; to Intermediate Fredericton Caps hockey sniper Billy Hughes, who helped make the B line, with Bob Mabie and Bev Bawn, such a force through the decade of the 1960s.

It also included a nod to both the present and the future in the selection of volunteers Mike and Margie Reed as recipients of the Dr. Bill MacGillivary volunteer of the year award, for the longtime, and ongoing, service to sport, currently with the Fredericton Office Interiors Caps junior team but extending back to peewee, bantam and midget hockey when their own children played; and to Virginia Hokies women’s soccer goaltender Dayle Colpitts, who won the Myer and Jack Budovitch Award as Fredericton’s athlete of the year for a record-setting season in leading the Hokies to the NCAA Division 1 semifinals.

Meagher, ever the epitome of class, hit all the right shots – as she has for half a century on the golf course – thanked the founding organization, Fredericton Sports Investments, “for your continued support of the Sports Wall of Fame and for all that you do for sport in our community. Your legacy is part of what makes Fredericton such a great city in which to live.”

That’s a theme that surfaced throughout: that Fredericton is a special place, a fact stated by all the inductees in varying degrees of eloquence this night.
Family was prominent too: Meagher tracing her Miramichi roots in the game, when she was Kathy Whitty, to thanking her daughter and playing partner Kathryn, “my biggest cheerleader” and, incidentally, her playing partner on eight mother-daughter provincial championship teams.
“It’s very special that I’m joining my late husband John, who was inducted in 2010,” she said. “Among many things, we shared a love of sport ... and now membership on the Wall of Fame.”

Catcher Sonny Phillips, inducted on the wall for his own brilliant career in 1999, was joined on Saturday by all but five of the 30 team members from the 1981-84 teams that captured four straight senior titles and hosted nationals at newly constructed Prospect Street Park in 1984.
In addition to speed, pitching and defence, which the team had in spades, Phillips said “we had a great time for those five or six months (every year) we were together. We found that’s what it was all about ... people, people, people, relationships.”
They were reborn at a private team function on Friday, the night before the official induction ceremonies, said Phillips.
“There were a lot of three-run homers and no-hitters. We’re not sure if they happened, but we sure had a good time,” he said.
“This Fredericton Sports Wall of Fame is really special to us,” he said. “The efforts of FSI really emphasize why the city of Fredericton is such a great community to live in and retire to and give back.”

The softball crowd was exceeded only by the track crowd, which greeted the mention of anyone on track, whether it be Mel Keeling or Peter Richardson, both previous inductees.
“This is great,” said Stewart in humble tones, who counted one little known kilometre among his career highlights – the first one from Parliament Hill in Ottawa in the direction of Montreal and the opening ceremonies of the 1976 Olympics in Montreal.
“Many thanks to all the athletes who I coached at UNB, who I trained and competed with,” he said, pointing in their direction in the crowd and deadpanning “pretty much all right there.”

Hughes was represented by son Terry: Billy remains on his native Prince Edward Island due to ill health. Terry said his dad wanted to thank all his teammates for their roles in his success.

Colpitts became the 10th female winner of the Myer and Jack Budovitch Award after the 22-year-old led the Hokies to previously unattained heights. They lost 3-2 to the Florida State Seminoles in the NCAA semifinal, ending a season in which she managed 11 shutouts, 19 wins and a 0.77 goals against average and a career in which she set school records with 29 shutouts, 49 wins and a 1.15 goals against average over four years.
Colpitts was humble in accepting the trophy and to be “in the presence of so many distinguished athletes and sports people,” she said.
She called her early years in Fredericton, spent on the rinks, courts and fields of Fredericton, “obviously the best years of my life,” she said.
After playing ringette, volleyball, basketball and soccer in her formative years, she turned exclusively to soccer at 16, starring at Fredericton High School, the Canada Games and beyond.
“But I didn’t do it by myself,” she noted, thanking her parents, family, coaches, teammates and the community.

Margie Reed, speaking on behalf of the couple, said she and Mike were “honoured but also a bit embarrassed” when initially told they were receiving the MacGillivary Award as “Fredericton’s outstanding sport volunteer and community worker.”
“But we’ve had time to let it sink in and are now enjoying the moment,” she said. “Volunteering has become a big part of our lives,” she said. “Most people who ask us to help them out in whatever situation know that if they ask one of us, they’re going to get both of us.”
They’ve lent that spirit and expertise to the Fredericton Youth Hockey Association, the Brendon Oreto Foundation and to teams from peewee, bantam, midget, junior and high school girls hockey over the years, working alongside some 28 coaches and for the benefit of countless young players over their careers, “and we’d like to thank every one of them for taking us along for the ride,” she said.
“It’s funny, because you think at the time that they don’t realize that you’re there,” she said. “But if you meet them in a grocery store or a mall and they give you a big hug ... that’s our paycheque.”

All of the award recipients were fantastic and completely deserving of their awards.

Richard received a very nice silver ring to honour the occasion.
Here is a photo of it along with one of his Stanley Cup rings that he received while scouting with the Canadiens.

I’ll tell you, it was a great night to be a Scammell in Fredericton.

It was also a great night for the city of Fredericton to show my uncle Richard that they are very proud of him and everything that he has accomplished.

Almost as much as I am.

Stay well,
Tim

My lad in action - Mapex Meridian Birch - Drumbeast11

My Very Cool Week

Something very cool happened to me this week that I’d like to tell you about.
Last week I read a Twitter tweet from the Toronto Star which asked us to tell a short story of a time when we were mean to another person or someone had been mean to us.
The first thing I thought of was my blog entry of November 17, 2012 (It’s been a year already??) in which I wrote about two mean moments in my life.
So I sent a note with a link to the blog and asked them to read it.
I knew that it was too long for what they were looking for but what the heck? It was a way to get someone else to read it anyway.

On Monday afternoon I received an email from a pleasant lady named Sarah at the Toronto Star saying that she really enjoyed my blog post, especially the story of Ephraim and the milk.
She asked if it would be okay with me if they ran a shortened version of the post in the Star if they had space.
I replied thanking her for taking the time to read it and that it was certainly okay for them to use it.

I forgot about it until yesterday morning and realized that if it DID run in the Toronto Star I probably would never know about it since I am out here in New Brunswick.
So I sent Sarah a message asking that if they do mention my story could she please let me know so that I wouldn’t miss it.

I was very surprised when she replied that it was in the paper at that very moment and all I had to do was search my name on the Toronto Star web site to find it.

So I waited for several hours until I had a free moment to take a look.
No way! I didn’t waste a second! I looked immediately and there it was.
I was so impressed at the editing that Sarah had done. It was a very professional job.
Here is the article as it appeared:


True tales of mean: A reader apologizes to a boy he hurt

Reader Tim Scammell says a mean thing he did 40 years ago has bothered him all his life.
Published on Thu Nov 21 2013

We asked readers to tell us the meanest thing they have done to someone and/or the meanest thing done to them. One of our favourite stories in the latter category came from reader Tim Scammell who, after talking to his son about meanness, used the Internet to find someone he had been mean to 40 years before. Here’s an edited version of his apology to his childhood chum.

Dear Ephraim

You and I were in McNicoll Public School together and I have thought about you many times over the years.
Earlier this evening I was talking to one of my 14-year-old twin sons about how mean kids can be to one other. I told T. the story of something I did to you that has stuck in my mind all these years. He told me I should look for you on Facebook, LinkedIn or Google and apologize.
I believe it took place the summer between Grades 3 and 4.
It was a hot sunny day and my friend Andy Heywood and I had gone to play in the schoolyard.
They had cut the grass after a long spell and we were playing around in the huge piles of clippings. We both became hot and thirsty.
I don’t know which one of us thought of it but we knew you lived just across the road. We decided to go to your house and see if you would give us something to drink.
Your mother answered the door and called you. We asked you if you wanted to come out and play. You agreed, but had to put your shoes on.
Before you did that we asked you if we could have a drink.
Most likely my mind exaggerates, but I remember you giving us the biggest, coldest glasses of milk I had ever had.
We finished our drinks and said we’d go outside to wait.
For the life of me I will never understand why we did this but we took off across to the schoolyard and jumped behind a huge pile of grass clippings to hide from you. The bizarre thing is I remember that you and I were friends. We weren’t best friends but pretty good school friends.
Why the heck did we do that to you?
I have a lousy memory, which drives my wife crazy, but I still have the vivid memory of watching you coming out of your front door and looking for us for a minute or two before giving up and going back in your house. I remember the feeling of guilt I had and thinking that we should go back and get you but we didn’t.
That event is one of the biggest regrets from childhood.
When you think of the horrendous terrible things that some kids do to others, I guess this is minor. But I think that at that moment we made a really nice kid who welcomed us into his house and gave us a fantastic glass of milk feel bad.
That was a lousy thing to do.
If this type of thing happened to one of my kids it would break my heart.
So Ephraim, 40 years later I want to say sorry. I wish we had not done that to you.
If this is all a little too weird for you I understand completely. Lol.

Take care,
Tim

The next day Ephraim emailed back, and wrote, in part.

Wow, thanks for reaching out. Big thanks to T., too. You must be proud of your boys.
Tim, your name sounds familiar as does Andy Heywood’s. That said, I have no recollection of the event you’ve described. The fact that you have struggled with it for so long — in that way we all hopelessly struggle with regrets, reliving events we can’t change — saddens me. But I get it; we’ve all got some of those.
Your email opened up a flood of childhood memories from Canada.
We moved to South Florida after the completion of Grade 4, during the summer of 1973. I lived there until college, when I moved up to the Northeastern U.S.
I’ve lived up here since.
My memories of early life in Canada are those of a child.
I’ve been to Toronto on business multiple times over the years, but not back to North York or McNicoll Avenue.
I remember those days with such fondness. That said — there’s no denying it — we were odd birds, my family. We moved there in the late 1960s from Israel. There was no one around similar to us. I grew up feeling my foreignness. But man, I loved hockey.
What you said in your email is very meaningful to me. Not because I remember the incident, but more because it helps me access that part of my life.
I appreciate the warm spirit you and your son have shared with me.

All the best,
Ephraim

Pretty well done, isn’t it? The Star certainly seems to know their editing.
So that’s pretty cool that they put my story in their paper.
It appeared in the print version as well as the electronic version of yesterday’s Star.
I have to tell you what’s cooler though.
The comments section! Those people are amazing!
I think I’ve become accustomed to the nastiness that tends to land in the comments sections out here in New Brunswick.
I don’t understand why but far too many of the comments that I see locally are just ignorant and unnecessarily cruel.
I would never have guessed that it would be Toronto that was so nice and encouraging.
There are a couple of references to the recent shenanigans of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
Interesting how they found their way in.
I’ll show you what I’m talking about here:

Comments (33)

simone.havel
51 Minutes Ago
Tim is a childhood friend of mine. Our moms emmigrated from England to Canada together as 18 year olds and remained BFFs all their lives. One thing I've always remembered about you, Tim, IS your kindness. You were stuck playing with 4 little non-hockey-playing, girlie girls (your sister, me, my two younger sisters) every family visit, and you were never anything but sweet and involved. You didn't even sullenly ignore us, as some boys would! This lovely story of you and Ephraim proves that. Let's hope TONS of parents share this with their children, and TONS of other adults take your cue, and clean up some mean acts of their pasts. love, Sim.

eatyourveggies
14 Hours Ago
I was the most shy kid in public school and have horrible memories of being teased and taunted. I moved away from that small town as soon as possible, and to this day, 50 years later, I go visit relatives there and hate every minute of it. I won't even go for lunch in town. Foolish and overly emotional, I know. I've got a great life now, so I should just get over it. I made sure my own kids had the skills not to be treated that way by anyone.

pamlight
15 Hours Ago
What a special exchange. I think the point here may be that what happened changed Tim and the way he treated people. I have an incident similar to this in my life--with my younger brother--and he has absolutely no memory of it and, if he did according to him, it wouldn't have bothered him. However, it gave my conscience a real jolt and I think altered my perception of other people and how I was responsible for my behavior towards them.

pappaazucar
17 Hours Ago
If the meanest thing that guy ever did was drink a glass of milk and then take off without playing with the guy Ephraim then he is practically a saint. No wonder Ephraim had no memory of this minor event but certainly wrote a very gracious note in reply.

studebaker 2
19 Hours Ago
Unfortunately, too many who grew up as bullies have never been made to face up to the fact that their actions too often systematically destroy the lives of others along the way. I only wish that adults who continue to behave as bullies in the workplace, their families, in public in general could somehow be made aware of the negative effects of their of their behaviour and shamed into changing. Usually they are just too thick-skinned to notice so they continue to wreak havoc all the while blaming others for not being tough enough.

sarannewrap
19 Hours Ago
I was bullied beyond belief as a child. I lived with my grandparents in a small town and kids teased me relentlessly because I had "no parents". I was also a lot smaller than the other children my age and wore glasses. Recipe for disaster. I made it through mostly unscathed, am a successful professional with a wonderful family, but now and again it pops into my head and I wonder if my bullies are sorry. I totally applaud what Tim did and wish more adults would do the same. It would send an amazing message to the younger generations!

hunsister
20 Hours Ago
I was mean to a girl in grade school and it stayed with my whole life, especially when my older son became a victim of vicious bullying at Upper Canada College and I felt I was being punished for my deeds. I eventually was able to find her and apologize for everything. She was at a reunion event and was with her lovely, beautiful daughter as I poured out my heart. Well, she had done very well in life - married a great guy, got a nursing degree and had wonderful children. While I still feel sick over my behaviour, the only bright spot is that the girl I chose to pick on had an indomitable character and was not traumatized to the level I would have been in the same circumstances. Congrats Tim. And thanks Ephraim for being such a great guy!

Tim Scammell
21 Hours Ago
I'll tell you what's amazing is the wonderful comments that are being posted here. I'm humbled. In case anyone is wondering, Ephraim and I have stayed in touch and are new "old" friends. :)
Tim Scammell

jb@toronto
21 Hours Ago
It is truly amazing the memories that are carried as burdens by many people. Something as insignificant as pulling a prank on another becomes a heavy load. I remember when I was about 8 or 9 and a friend of mine and I went and played 'nicky, nicky nine doors' on some of the neighbouring houses. We were so gleeful when I or he would knock and then quickly run behind a hedge or a car and watch the door being opened etc. What I remember most however was the last time we pulled this prank my friend stumbled over the curb and broke his ankle. He pulled himself behind a hedge and neither of us was 'discovered'. I went to summon his dad to come help. So much for childhood 'pranks'. We both 'grew up' quickly after that episode.

mkbarekg
21 Hours Ago
Wow. I went to that school also. I can almost picture exactly where they were hiding.

xena244
21 Hours Ago
The meanest thing done to me: In the 70's, we often looped wet Speedo bathing suits onto our locks on the outside of our lockers to air dry. Someone scratched the word "SLUT" in large letters on my locker and stuck/mashed chewing gum into the crotch of my bathing suit. This still haunts me today.

arpeggio5757
21 Hours Ago
Ellie's column today is of the opposite type of person - a consciencousless, remorseless, shameless sister-in-law who relentlessly torments others. Here, we have a grown man who regrets a childhood action and reaches out to make amends, then, Ephraim reaches out and soothes everything over by saying 'no harm done but thanks for the apology'. Such a touching and timeless story about perspective, childhood impulsiveness, and regret over certain actions that seem to never leave our hearts and souls. I am truly touched by both Tim and Ephraim as this story makes me feel hopeful for the human race. Another reader embraced the essence of it, calling it a 'lesson in empathy' - just what the world needs now.

Daria
22 Hours Ago
What a lovely response from Ephraim and I'm glad Tim got to clear his conscience. Win-win.

MCIEtobicoke
22 Hours Ago
This is a great lesson in empathy. Tim did something that hurt someone else and never made amends for it. He knows it hurt and he knows how it would feel if something like that happened to his kids. This is a really important lesson for people of any age. So what have we learned? One, don't hurt people - no brainer. But if you do hurt someone, apologize and MEAN IT. You don't say sorry to get people off your back, you say sorry because you realize you've done something you shouldn't and you actually feel bad about it. You don't have to carry it for 40 years like Tim, but if it's not really affecting you then your apology is worthless.

ImeldaMarcos
22 Hours Ago
Goes to show you that a lot of kids carry around guilt about things and there isn't much basis for it. I hope Ephraim's reply made him feel better.

jessica_laine
23 Hours Ago
read this in the paper this morning and had to come online and comment. what a beautiful example of GRACE. i had tears in my eyes from this story. i will be thinking about this all day. thank you for printing it!

irkme
23 Hours Ago
This read was a wonderful change from all the Rob Ford and Senate Scandal nonsense!

Buelah
23 Hours Ago
I agree. This is a wonderful change from all the Rob Ford garbage. I find it interesting how the article had to come from one of the readers. However, kudos for finding and publishing this letter.

arpeggio5757
21 Hours Ago
Why does Rob Ford have to bleed into every single thing???

irkme
21 Hours Ago
@arpeggio5757: Thats the point I was trying to make...however I realize the irony in that I had to bring him up to make that point.

gruntled
Yesterday
Tim, it says wonderful things about you, that you have felt guilty all these years. I pity those who don't have the depth of emotion to ever experience this kind of guilt. It shows that you are a decent person, and are bringing up your sons to be decent people too. Thanks for sharing this and for being one of the good people in the world.

Fred Garvin
Yesterday
Everything about this is lovely. Thanks to all parties involved for sharing - I suspect it means as much to us readers - albeit in a different way - as it does to you both.

Nancy Van Kessel
Yesterday
What a concept. Apologizing and asking for forgiveness. And then, being forgiven.

oaksides
23 Hours Ago
I see where you're going with that, but don't even try to equate the situations.

RedKenny1969
23 Hours Ago
Nancy ...you are not to be beleived. Why drag your undying support of a lying ,abusive un-couthed buffoon into this completly unrelated commentary .

Nancy Van Kessel
22 Hours Ago
Um... um .... ?????...more

Edski
22 Hours Ago
Hmmm......apologizing for a childhood discretion versus apologizing for smoking crack and being blind drunk while mayor of largest city in Canada. Which do you really think deserves forgiveness. Really.

ShelaghDB
20 Hours Ago
/sighs.

grifter888
Yesterday
What a nice exchange! It's communication like this that gives hope to society in general!

msontario
Yesterday
This is such a nice example of a proper apology and gracious response... If only our politicians could exhibit the same level of maturity and grace.

kitchen table
Yesterday
Well done on all sides. And thanks Toronto Star for offering a place where not only the meanest among us feel at home as is often the case in the comment sections, but there is a place for reflection and hope.

Sumo
Yesterday
Wow...Ephraim...great response! You certainly know how to graciously and eloquently accept an apology. Well done.

ShelaghDB
20 Hours Ago
Well said!


Very cool, aren’t they? Absolutely wonderful.
I sent a note to Ephraim directing him to the article and he was also very happy with the way everything had turned out.

For some reason, throughout this whole thing with the original blog post and recent happenings, my other son B has missed it.
That’s perfectly fine. I don’t often tell the boys about my blog posts or expect them to stay up to date with what I write.
If I have something that I think will interest them I’ll tell them but if they don’t read it I’m okay with that.
T was aware of everything. It was our original conversation which started all of this anyway.

As we were driving yesterday I was telling them about the Star article.
B had no idea what I was talking about so when he got home he ventured off to read a copy of the article which I had printed off.
A while later he came back and told me that he really liked it.

A few hours later B came to me again and said “I’m really proud of you for what you did there, Dad.”
And THAT, was the absolutely coolest thing that happened to me this week.

Stay well,
Tim

Not Bad at All

The last two years have been pretty interesting for our family sports-wise.
With the exception of an incident last hockey season which is also affecting us this season (I’m not going into it here), I believe the boys are doing well and having a great time.

In the winter of 2011-2012 both of our sons were attending the practices/tryouts for the New Brunswick Junior Selects baseball team. Pretty early in the process T decided that he would rather not continue the process and stepped out which was perfectly fine.
B stuck with it for a while but eventually realized that it may not be for him either. We weren’t too fond of all the travelling that we were doing and was going to come if he made the team.
No worries.
We did agree though that the boys wanted to play a higher level of baseball than the Recreational level at New Maryland. So we said goodbye to our beloved New Maryland baseball and headed to Fredericton to try out for the Bantam AA team.
Both boys made the team and the season began.

It was going along really well for B. He’s a leftie that pitches and plays first base so he was always right in the action.
I wish I could say the same for T. He’s a great player with a great arm and good hitting skills. Unfortunately a great arm like his is best utilized in the outfield where he can rocket the ball back to the infield to make the play.
He wasn’t having a lot of fun and was often bored out there. I can’t say that I blamed the poor guy. It’s a long game when nothing is coming your way.

So T came to us and said that he didn’t want to play anymore. Initially I was of the mind that if he made the team and was on the team he has to stay on the team. But I realized that no good would come of that and he would come to despise the game. He talked to the coach and there were no hard feelings.

Both guys still played summer hockey at Base Gagetown in Oromocto.
If I haven’t mentioned it before it’s a great little league that runs for 10 games. The players are made up of all skill levels from first timers and Rec players to AAA. The main rules are that they have fun and that no one player is allowed to score more than 3 goals in a game. If they do they get a penalty.
I love that rule. It ensures that the stars on the team pass the puck and involve the other players.
We’ve done this for a few summers and I love coaching. I just open the doors and the kids play the positions that they want. Great fun.

So with B’s AA ball last year we were pretty busy and did a fair amount of driving. Nothing crazy though. We had long weekends off from games. The team did pretty well.

In the fall 2012 the boys started high school. B decided to try out for the Fredericton High School Men’s AAA ball team and made it. That’s pretty good for a guy in Grade 9 who has played Rec and AA ball.
The coach of the team is a really nice young guy named Phil who plays on the Fredericton Senior Royals as well as being a substitute teacher.
Our family has always enjoyed watching the Senior Royals play. It’s as close as you’ll get to a professional baseball game in Fredericton. These guys are really skilled and put their hearts into the game.

We haven’t been to a game in a while though. I’ll tell you why just because I’m in the mood for a REALLY long blog entry today.

In the summer of 2012 my best pal Mike was visiting us from Ontario for a week as he does most years.
One evening we decided to take in a Royals game over at their home field on Baseball Hill in Marysville. They were barely able to start the game before the clouds rolled in and a massive storm ensued.
The game was rained out and everyone was given a raincheck to be used for another game.
We were pretty busy and didn’t get a chance to get over for another game in the regular season.
The senior playoffs rolled around and we decided to get over to see one of the games.

Cheryl knew the guy who looked after the tickets and administration of the team so she sent him an email asking if the playoff game that night was going to be in Fredericton of away. We wanted to head over and use our rainchecks.
Nope, he replied. We weren’t allowed to use the rainchecks for the playoff games.
Oh, okay. No big deal. We’ll just use them next season then and pay for the playoff game.
Nope, they’re not good for next year he told her.
Pardon?? It didn’t say that anywhere on the raincheck that it wasn’t good for playoffs or the following season!

That’s just the way it is.
That left a bad taste in our mouth so in the summer of 2013 we saw exactly zero Senior Royals games.
Think about this.
We paid our full admissions to see a game that wasn’t played.
By refusing to allow us to use the rainchecks they saved the price of 2 adult and 2 student admissions that we would have used.
In doing so they lost a chance to gain the numerous admission fees that we would have paid in the summer of 2013 to see several games.
That doesn’t seem like very good business sense to me.
Maybe they didn’t even notice that we weren’t at any games in our usual spots that we watched the games from?
Perhaps someone did notice but has no idea of this backstory? Oh well.

Anyway, Phil has a great baseball mind and a really good style of coaching. If there’s a screw up he’ll deal with it but in a calm manner.
The boys had a pretty good season and a good time. They didn’t make it to the Regional playoffs or the Provincials but that was something to strive for again next season.
The best thing about the FHS ball was that B had a chance to play with and against guys that are AAA level and up to 4 years older than him. He did a good job.
Also, he made new pals in various grades at his new school.

The 2012-2013 hockey season was a wild ride. For the most part the boys had a good time and made more new friends.
These things are good for Cheryl and I as well for meeting new folks and making new friends.

One really cool thing during the season was that the coach of the Fredericton AA Canadiens saw B play and asked him to be an affiliate of the team for the season. This would allow him to play on that team if they ever needed a spare player for a game.
As it turned out they only called him up for one regular season game and the Provincial playoffs series.
Keep in mind that B had NEVER played in a game before that had bodychecking in it. The recreational levels don’t allow checking here.

He held his own pretty well though and wasn’t hurt at all. He gave some decent checks and took some doozys.
During the final Provincial playoff game a kid from the Oromocto team came over when B wasn’t paying attention and smoked him with a dirty shot to the head that put B on his back on the ice. It still hurts to watch the video I have.
Amazingly though, B stood right up and skated along as if nothing had happened and wasn’t injured at all!
The Oromocto kid got a major penalty for the headshot though.
Oh, the Canadiens won that game and became the Provincial champions!
What a great experience. That was the biggest sports victory our family has been involved in to date.

This spring B tried out and made the AA Bantam Royals team again.
T decided that he would play the summer hockey at Base Gagetown again but would sit the baseball out.
He did this a few years ago and came back to baseball so I wasn’t worrying about it. If he decided to come back to the game that would be great but it’s up to him.
As a matter of fact, T was dragged around all summer with us watching B’s games and decided that he will try out for the Midget AA team with B as well as the FHS team. He said that he had to go to the games anyway so he may as well try to get on the team to play.

This year the Bantam AA Royals came even closer than last year to winning in the Provincials.
Close doesn't count though and it doesn't make a kid feel better to tell him that “close” is pretty great too.
As the expression goes close only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades.
Holy cow were we busy this summer though! We were everywhere.

I don’t know how or why but it seems that we had so many more teams to play against than last season. We played regular games in Taymouth, Miramichi, Saint John, Moncton, Sackville, Lancaster, Oromocto as well as tournaments in Sackville, Nova Scotia and Oromocto. I can’t imagine how much more travelling we would have done if the weather hadn’t been so lousy this summer. It seems that we were getting rained out constantly.

This year's Fredericton High School ball team was fantastic. There were a few of Grade 9 and 10 kids but unfortunately much of the stronger players were Grade 12 guys who will be leaving the school after this year.
This season was the last kick at the can for these guys and we were really hoping it would be the season they went all the way.
To tell you the truth, the division that FHS is in is very mismatched.

The strongest team for the last few years has been Leo Hayes High School which is in Fredericton as well but is across the river on the north side of town.
The rivalry between FHS Black Kats and the Leo Hayes Lions in everything has been thick for many years now.
Matches between the two schools are affectionately known as "The Battle of the Bridge" events.

We had a very difficult time against them last year. I don't believe we were able to beat them at all.
FHS didn't make the playoffs in 2012 but Leo Hayes went all the way to Regionals where they were beaten out.

I'm pretty certain that they were following the same path this season and won every game they played.
They beat us pretty soundly a few times.

When it came time for our division playoffs this year the games were to decide which two teams from our division would be heading to Saint John the following weekend for the Regional playoffs.
Leo Hayes being the division leader played the 4th (last) place team from Woodstock.
Woodstock didn't put up much of a fight. We beat them in every game we played against them.
It was sad to watch really. Woodstock would start off a game pretty solidly but when it came time to move into other pitchers and switch they just didn't have any real depth in their bullpen.
A game would just fall apart after a few innings for them.

We had a tougher time on our plates.
FHS was 2nd in the division over Oromocto but not by much.
In fact, last season Oromocto beat us in the playoffs and went to Regionals where they were beaten out in the first game.
One nice thing about these playoffs is that there was no "best of five" or "best of seven". The season is too short for all that and the weather is always a challenge.
When a team lost out they were done for the season. With the exception of the second Regional game. Both teams in this game were already heading to Provincials in Moncton the following weekend but the game would determine where each team would be placed in the ranking.

Our game against Oromocto was a close one and a tough battle.
One thing I find about most Oromocto teams we come up against is that they seem to be somewhat abrasive. There is far too much heckling and trash talk from their bench than I feel is warranted in these games. This has been in the AA summer ball as well as hockey too.
Thankfully, our guys don't retaliate. Rather than chirping the other team in a bad way our guys yell support to their own players. I've always been very proud that all of the teams our boys have played on have usually been this way.

In the playoff game Oromocto was loud and obnoxious for most of the game.
It made it that much sweeter when we beat them. They became pretty quiet after that.

So for the first time in several years the Fredericton High School Men's AAA baseball team was heading to the Regionals.
What would happen there was anyone's guess really. There were going to be two other very strong teams from the other Division to battle. It was not going to be easy.

On the Monday before the Regionals I was at a Parent School Support Committee meeting at the school.
I mentioned to the school principal how exciting it was that the baseball team was heading to Regionals!
He didn't have a clue what I was talking about. He, like most of the people at FHS, didn't pay any attention to the baseball teams. I should also mention that the school has a pretty great girl's softball team on which B's girlfriend is a player. They also headed to Saint John the same day but unfortunately were beaten out.
If it wasn't hockey or football most people in FHS didn't have a clue.
Which prompted me to send this tongue-in-cheek letter to the Editor of the Fredericton Daily Gleaner.
I tell people that I was "seriously joking" or "jokingly serious".

YES, FHS HAS A BASEBALL TEAM, AND THEY ARE AWESOME
THE DAILY GLEANER
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
03 OCT 2013 04:32PM
Re: FHS baseball

Here is a conversation with almost every student/staff/administrator at Fredericton High School.
“Hey! Great news about the FHS baseball team!”
“Oh yeah! Everyone at the school is totally thrilled about our football team.”
“No, the baseball team. After all these years, the FHS AAA men’s baseball team is going to the regional playoffs in Saint John this weekend!”
“No, you’re mistaken. They can’t be going to the playoffs already. The hockey season is barely getting started.”
“Baseball! I’m talking about baseball!”
“Ohhh right. Baseball. Yeah that’s awesome... Uh, FHS has a baseball team?”
Sigh...
Good luck guys! We’re proud of you no matter what happens.
I am a proud baseball dad.

Tim Scammell
New Maryland, N.B.

So off we went to Saint John.
Our game was against the Kennebecasis Valley Crusaders.
Just like the game against Oromocto, it started out very close.
Fortunately, our pitcher was a grade 12 guy who had been playing on the NB Selects for a few years as well as on a AAA team plus, had pitched for New Brunswick this past summer in the Canada Games.
He pitched a solid 6 innings but reached his pitch limit and had to be pulled out. We were well ahead by this point and it looked in the bag.
The reliever came in and everyone became a little nervous when he started out by walking several batters.
Eventually he settled into his groove and took care of business.
We ended up winning 7-2. B had a hit and an RBI.

I was wondering if B would perhaps consider pitching if it ever looked like the team would be strapped for pitchers.
He said that he would probably not and was happy being a great first baseman.

A strange thing happened with B this year with his pitching. I don't mean good strange either.
He had been a pretty solid pitcher for several years.
While playing for the AA team in the summer one of the coaches told us that he was going to have to change his pitching style or he would never last to pitch in Midgets next year.
He told B that he was going to have to change certain things in his pitching technique.
He told us that there was most likely going to be a rough spell where B would probably not throw very many strikes. It would get better though.
This didn't really happen. B had his rough spell but it didn't seem to ever end!
Even when B tried to throw his usual pitches as before he was not having much luck.
I'm afraid that this period has made him gun shy and he has lost his interest of pitching. I'm not going to force the issue with him. It will be a shame if a great leftie thrower like him never takes the mound again but if he chooses to hone his skills and be the best first baseman he can be then good for him. As long as he enjoys himself.

Anyway, we had locked in our spot for the Provincials in Moncton!

Leo Hayes played their game against a team that was lower than us in the ranking and actually came close to losing to them. The other team was starting to roar back with a nice rally before Leo Hayes managed to finally shut them down and win.

That meant that we had to play Leo Hayes that afternoon to determine where we would each be in the Provincial's ranks.
You know what? We almost beat them! We were ahead for most of the game when an error in our outfield allowed them three runs to take the lead. In the end they won 6-4.
We gave them a nice scare for the first time that I had seen in our games against them.

The Provincials the following weekend in Moncton were a Fredericton vs. Miramichi battle.
The ball field was the nicest one we have ever played on. I was very impressed. It's the field where Moncton's senior men's team plays their games and was completely renovated and refurbished fairly recently.

We played against James M. Hill in the first game of the day.
We had another of our grade 12 pitchers who had also played in the Canada Games. He did a great job.
Unfortunately we had six errors which ended up hurting us. There were also a few calls which raised many eyebrows and several tempers.
It was a really close game but we couldn't quite pull it off. We lost 5-4.
Of note, Leo Hayes ended up playing James M. Hill if the final game and lost 7-3.
What a great job our guys did though! For the first time in 14 years the FHS Black Kats went to the Provincial playoffs.
That's a heck of a lot to be proud of.
B played a great game and had the best baseball experience of his playing career.

That's B in number 6 heading to the plate.

This year for the first time we were still involved in a baseball season in the middle of October and enjoyed it!

Next year T has said he wants to try out again for the AA summer team and the FHS ball team. I was glad to hear this.
This will be very important since so many of the team will be graduating this year. We will need a few players to make a proper team. At least Leo Hayes will be in much the same boat with their senior players so hopefully the season will be a close matched one next year for FHS.

By making it to the Regionals and Provincials I am hoping that the school awareness of the baseball teams has increased and next year more people will show an interest in them.
B has just played his best season with the highest caliber of players that he has ever played with and against. He rose to the occasion and although didn't pitch he was the best first baseman out there.
He made a bunch of new friends and played for a great coach.

Plus, it's looking hopeful that next year I will finally get to see both of my star boys play baseball together again. I've missed that so much.

That's not bad at all, is it?

Stay well,
Tim

It's Been 5 Years Already

Hi there. I'm sorry that I haven't been on here in so long.
I've had so many things going on in ours lives but I just haven't had the time or the motivation for some reason.
I'm sure I'll get back into the groove of it sometime soon. We'll see. Sometimes I start to stress a bit and feel a twinge of guilt about not coming here but then I realize that it doesn't matter!
Seriously. I guess a few people drop in once in a while to read this but not too many.
Don't think that I don't appreciate you if you drop by here and read this. On the contrary. I love that you're here.
But in the end this is a place for me to spew forth words and put some of my thoughts onto the World Wide Web for the universe to see.
I do have a thought today though and it's a very strong one that brought me here to tell you about. It was 5 years ago today that my beautiful little sister Hayley passed away.
I remember it like it was yesterday and it burns a hole in my heart just as big as it did that day. I've had a harder time dealing with it today for some reason than before. I'm thinking that this is because it's a milestone "anniversary".
I'm not sure but I do know that I haven't been able to focus very well and have been feeling tired and drained all day.
Usually on these days I'm busy enough running around doing things and driving the boys places and the day just whips by for me.
Also, about 4 1/2 to 5 years ago I had a bout of gout in my left foot.
I have had a mild case or two since then but it wasn't too bad. Yesterday it decided to rear it's ugly again and it's bigger and badder than ever.
I woke up several times last night with the pain throbbing. I have been hobbling around for two days.
This hasn't done much good for my emotional state.
I'm sorry that this isn't a very pleasant entry, especially after such a long gap since the last entry.
I'll be going to bed early tonight and will wake up on a newer, brighter day.
This one hasn't been so great.

Stay well,
Tim
Tim Scammell, PTech

A Quantum Leap

Wow. I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted on here. Life gets so darn busy and before you know it months have passed.
Anyway...

I'm not sure how many of the people that will read this post remember the television show "Quantum Leap" which ran for a few years in the late 1980's and early 1990's.
In my opinion it was and still remains one of the best shows of all time.
It starred Scott Bakula as physicist Dr. Sam Beckett and was set a few years in the future.
While Sam was performing a time travel experiment something went wrong and he was lost in time.
Throughout the series Sam found himself "leaping" into other people's bodies in situations that took place in the past within Sam's lifetime.
With the leap into another person's body he temporarily took the place of these other people to "put right what once went wrong". 
Basically, he was dropped into a situation that would have a bad outcome and changed the course of events to change whatever it was that made it bad. 
It wasn't quite the time travel that he sought with his experiment but the result was much nobler.

How many of us have events in our lives that we wish we could just go back and change? Maybe a little. Maybe a lot. 
Perhaps not necessarily righting a wrong but just turning something in another direction to make the future turn out differently.

Don't get me wrong. I do not want to change anything in my life. Admittedly there are things that I could have done better or differently but I love where I am right now and the path my life has taken. 
I love the things that I do and who I do them with. 
I love my home and I love where it is.

But, there are a couple of "things" in my lifetime that I do regret.
Sadly, I can't leap back and change them. Not unless a Dr. Sam Beckett invents a machine that I can use to go back in time and change. Even then I likely would not want to.
However, if a chance ever comes to right what once went wrong I will do it.

I am very fortunate in that a couple of these have happened to me. Both involved some investigative work on my part. 
The first was rather minor and took place almost 15 years ago when I lived in Ontario. 

One day I was going through some boxes of things that I had in storage and I ran across a small stack of very old black and white hockey cards. 
As I looked through the cards it occurred to me that they were older than I was. How the heck did I get these? I couldn't have bought them. They were before my time.
A short while later it struck me. A boy that I had gone to public school with had lent them to me to look through and I never gave them back! I had stolen them from him! I don't know why he didn't ask for them back at that time but that didn't matter.
These cards were not mine. They must have belonged to his father or something.

I immediately went about trying to locate this guy again after 25 years. 
I ended up contacting people that I knew to find out how to contact other people that knew this guy. It was actually harder than you may think.
This was just before the days of Googling and web searching. I did it the old fashioned way.
In the end I did locate him. Fortunately, he lived within the Toronto area. I drove across the city and personally delivered the hockey cards to him. 
He was bewildered at the whole situation and did not remember giving me the cards. I remembered though and gave them to him with an apology that I had not given them back sooner.

This next one may not seem like a very serious event but was one that has stuck in my memory for over 40 years. It was something that my friend and I did to another boy. 
We didn't physically harm or verbally abuse him but we were mean to him. 
Most often I have a very bad memory for things but for some reason I remember this event so well that I can see it in my mind as clearly as the day it happened in the summer after we were in Grade 4.

About a month ago my son T and I were driving and talking about how rotten and mean kids can be to each other at times. It's a sad reality. I wish it wasn't but it is.
I told T the story of that time that I was mean to another kid. 
The boy moved away shortly after it happened and I never did get a chance to say sorry to him.

Then T asked "Did you look for him on Facebook?"
What the heck? I had not used Facebook, Google or Twitter to search for him. 
He had a name that was unique and I had never forgotten. His name is Ephraim S. (I'm not comfortable saying his whole name here so I will just use S for his last name.) 
I decided to do a Google search first. I clicked on the first result that came up. 
It was a web site for a company owned by Ephraim. As soon as I saw the picture of him I knew that this was him. Even 40 years later I could tell that this was him.

I decided to try reaching him through LinkedIn first and sent him a message. I asked if he was the same person who had gone to McNicoll Public School in Toronto all those years ago. 
He replied very promptly and said that he was and asked if we knew each other. 
I asked him to send me his email address so that I could write in detail and was happy that he did. 
If it was me I may not have.

Rather than write it all out again I will paste a copy of my email to Ephraim here. :

Hello again Ephriam.

This is going to seem like one of the strangest things you have ever read but I'll do it anyway. 

As I mentioned you and I were in McNicoll Public School together and I have thought about you many many times over the years since then.

The reason for that may sound a bit odd. 

Earlier this evening I was talking to one of my 14 year old twin sons about how mean kids can be to one other. I told T the story of something that I did to you. It has stuck in my mind all these years as something that I regretted doing at the moment that it happened but had not addressed. Until now.

It wasn't physical harm and was not verbal abuse but it was mean and I should not have done it.

Actually, it also involves another chap named Andy Heywood who was also our classmate. Andy passed away of cancer when we were in our early 20's.

I believe that this took place in the summer vacation between grades 3 and 4 but I'm not positive. It may have been a year prior or the year after. I think your family may have moved away shortly afterwards but I don't remember seeing you again. 

It was a very hot sunny day and Andy and I had decided to go and play in the schoolyard at McNicoll. They had recently cut the grass after a long spell and we were playing around in the huge piles of clippings.

We must have been jumping around a lot because I remember how hot and terribly thirsty I was. Andy was as well. 

We didn't have anything with us to drink and we lived a fair distance away. I don't know which one of us thought of it but we knew that you lived just across the road. We decided to go to your house and see you and you would likely have a drink for us. 

Your mother answered the door and called you. We went into your house. I think that we asked you if you wanted to come out and play with us and you agreed but had to get your shoes on. Before you did that we asked you if we could have a drink.

Most likely my mind exaggerates this but I remember that you gave us the biggest, coldest glasses of milk that I had ever had.

Andy and I finished our drinks and said that we would go outside and wait for you while you got ready.

For the life of me I will never understand why we did this but we took off across to the school yard and jumped behind a huge pile of grass clippings to hide from you.

The bizarre thing about it is that I remember that you and I were friends. I suppose we weren't best friends but pretty good school friends. Why the heck did we do that to you??    

It's funny. I have a lousy memory sometimes which drives my wife crazy but I still have the vivid memory of watching you coming out of your front door and looking for us for a minute or two before giving up and going back into your house. I remember the feeling of guilt that I had and thinking that we should go back and get you but we ended up going somewhere else to play.  

That event has stuck in my mind for all of these years and is one of the biggest regrets that I have from childhood. 

When you think of the horrendous terrible things that some kids do to others, I guess this is minor. But I think that at that moment we made a really nice kid who welcomed us into his house and gave us a fantastic glass of milk feel bad. And that was a lousy thing to do. 

If this type of thing happened to one of my kids it would break my heart. 

After I told the story to T and told him how badly I have always felt he asked if I had searched for you on Facebook to apologize to you. I don't know why I had not thought of that myself. I had not looked you up online.

As I expected, there are a very small number of guys with your name so finding you was quite easy with Google. When I saw your picture I could see the resemblance from all those years ago to the way you look now.  

So Ephriam, about 40 years later I really want to say sorry and that I wish that we did not do that to you.

If you have absolutely no memory whatsoever of this, that's good. 

If you do remember it at all, I hope that this message will possibly erase it a bit from your mind.

It is great to find you again anyway. I really enjoy running into folks from the past. I was looking for our class picture and was going to scan it but for some reason that one is missing from the collection.

If this is all a little too weird for you I understand completely. Lol.

Take care,

Tim

Ephraim replied to me the next day:

On 2012-10-19, at 5:03 PM, Ephraim wrote:

Hi Tim,

Wow, thanks for reaching out.  Big thanks to T, too.  You must be proud of your boys.

Tim, your name sounds familiar to me as does Andy Heywood's.  That said, I have no recollection of the event you've described.  The fact that you have struggled with it for so long — in that way we all hopelessly struggle with regrets, reliving events we can't change — saddens me.  But I get it; we've all got some of those.

Your email painted a picture for me opening up a flood of childhood memories from Canada.  You're right, we moved to South Florida after the completion of grade 4, during the summer of 1973.  I lived there until college when I moved up to the Northeastern US.  I've lived up here, ever since.  My memories of early life in Canada are those of a child.  I truly wonder what it was like from an adult perspective.  I've been to Toronto on business multiple times over the years, but not back to North York or McNicoll Avenue.  In fact, I forget: did we live at #158?  160?  I wonder if my mom ("mum", north of the border?) would remember.

Somehow, we survive our childhoods.  I remember Canada and McNicoll Avenue with such fondness.  That said — there's no denying it — we were odd birds, my family.  We moved there in the late 1960's from Israel.  There was no one around similar to us. I grew up feeling my foreignness.  My mom struggled living so far from her parents and siblings.  Man, I loved hockey.  I wanted to play little league ice hockey but that never happened.  I loved playing it in the street and driveways, though.  I liked to tend goal and my idol was Tony Esposito ("Espo") of the Blackhawks.  Ken Dryden was my nemesis.  My next door neighbor Greg (he was  a year behind us in school) and I played all the time. We had sweet, kind and welcoming neighbors all around us.  

What you said in your email is very meaningful to me. Not because I remember the incident, but more because it helps me access a part of my life.  I appreciate the warm spirit you and your son have shared my way.  I would like very much to stay in touch.

All the best,

Ephraim

I was not able to leap back into the past to erase that mean thing that we did to a kind-hearted boy on that summer day but I was given a chance to try and make it a bit better. 

I took a chance in making contact with him and he took a chance in replying and sending me his email address. 

Ephraim and I are indeed staying in touch. We have written each other a few times since then.

I am happy to say that we are new "old" friends. 

I think that our two lives are a little bit better now with another friend in them.

All it took was a leap of faith.

Stay well,

Tim