Leslie

Over 30 years ago a terrible tragic event occurred. My good friend Bill lost both of his parents in an awful car accident.
I had never experienced this degree of tragedy so closely before and wasn’t sure what my friends and I were supposed to do to help.
All we knew is that we had to rally around Bill and his sisters to help them get through the difficult days that were coming.
I remember spending most of my spare time over at their house for quite a while.

Bill had four fantastic sisters. Cyndy, Leslie and Lorie were all older than Bill and Lisa was the youngest. Lisa and my sister Hayley were in the same grade.
I knew the girls from school but not really well. They were all in different years than I was.
I did go to Bill’s house on numerous occasions but didn’t spend time with the girls. I was there to hang out with Bill.

If there could ever possibly be anything even remotely positive about what was going on, it was that I spent a lot of time with Bill, the girls and their family and got to know them much better than I had before.
Through that awful time I came to really admire and love that family and enjoyed being around them.

Over the days many other friends, neighbours and families dropped in at Bill’s house to offer condolences and drop off items of food and drinks.
I know all too well that during these times the last thing on someone’s mind is preparing food for themselves, even though keeping themselves nourished and strong is critical.

I wanted to contribute as well but what could I do? I was a young guy who hadn’t had to prepare a meal for myself very often.
However, I had an idea.

One thing that I really enjoyed was baking. I had made cookies on a few occasions. This was a good time to do it again.
I decided to make a pile of chocolate chip cookies from scratch and take them to Bill and the girls.
I am proud to say that they were a hit. They were very appreciative.
This was a huge comfort to me. It was good to know that in this time of sadness that I was able to provide something that gave them a little pleasure.

For years after that whenever I would run into Bill’s sisters it was almost guaranteed that my cookies would be mentioned along with the question of when I would be making some again.
I believe it was for Bill’s 25th birthday I decided to make a mega pile of the cookies and stuff them into a big Tupperware container to surprise them.

We had a big party at his house in Markham. It was a wonderful event.
I had not seen most of the people there for quite a while. I was living with my father out in Caledon while going to college in Etobicoke so I didn’t get out to the old neighbourhood too often anymore.
It was great to see Bill and the girls and catch up on things. I always loved being around those girls and their families.
Bill always has been and always will be a fun goofy guy. That’s why we’ve always gotten along so well. I admit that we’ve toned down a little as we’ve become older and gained responsibilities but deep down we’re the same as we were back then.
His sisters are all just as fun but in a classier way. I loved being around them. I wish it were more often though.

When the time came for Bill to open his gifts everyone gathered around to watch.
When he got to my gift he called out to make sure that Cyndy, Leslie, Lorie and Lisa could all hear that the gift was from me.
When he was done unwrapping it he opened the lid and called out “It’s chocolate chip cookies!”
It was so funny when all of the girls cheered.

As the years have gone by I have drifted away from making the cookies. It wasn’t a conscious thing. I guess I just haven’t had a lot of time for them.
I also haven’t seen the girls in a very long time.

I have a thought about these types of friends though. I don't think that years apart diminishes the way I feel about them. We may not be together very often but when do get together it's wonderful, and the friends are out there for the next time we do meet again.
Life happens. People move away. We have kids and lives get busier and busier. Nothing takes away from the way I feel about an old friend.
The warm feelings are just sitting inside waiting for us while new feelings of new people are building inside.

With Bill and his sisters I still feel the warmth for them that I had 30 years ago. Perhaps more so because it's been so long and I miss them.
But I know that they are out there and hope that they know I am here too.

I am in touch with Bill on a fairly regular basis and saw him when Hayley and mom passed away.
Bill knew Hayley quite well.

A couple of days ago I saw Bill’s Facebook status and it was like a kick to the stomach.
Leslie was very sick and was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago.
I messaged Bill as soon as I read it.
I told him to tell Leslie that if she gets better I will send her chocolate chip cookies. As many as she wants.
I knew from his reply that the getting better part was a long shot.

The next day I went to the grocery store and loaded up my supplies to make my cookies. It had been more than 20 years since I had made them but I wasn't worried.
On Saturday night I made a batch and they came out wonderfully. Not a single burned cookie in the bunch.

I contacted Bill and a plan was set that I would send as many of the cookies as I could by mail to his house and he would get them to Leslie for me.

I stuffed as many of them as I could into a large Costco margarine container and put them inside 2 bubble envelopes.

I wrote a note to Leslie that I made those cookies for her, every one of them. But if she isn't up to eating them all then it was okay for her to share with others. I would make more for her.
I was also sorry that I have not seen her in such a long time.

Early Sunday morning I went to the post office in the New Maryland Irving station but was told that I had to wait for noon when the post office would open.
I returned at noon.
The clerk asked how I wanted to send my package. I chose Expresspost and they guaranteed that it would be there in a couple of business days. That would be Wednesday afternoon.
And off they went. I let Bill know that they were coming. He would do the rest.
I told Cheryl that I wish I could see Leslie's face when she got the cookies.

This morning after I had helped the boys make breakfast I reached for my IPhone and opened Facebook. My heart broke.

Bill had posted...

"It is with a heavy heart that I must report that my lovely sister Leslie has lost her battle with Cancer. Her family at her side, she passed quietly early this morning."

I wish that I could be there back in Ontario with Bill and his sisters and Leslie's family but I know that at this moment they are surrounded by love just as they were over 30 years ago.

I hope that they enjoy the cookies.

Today I was in touch with Alex, another old friend of ours. I had not spoken to him in a while. Alex had heard the news of Leslie.

His letter affected me.

"Terrible and very sad. As you know, cancer is shit. Just the other day I was showing my wife the picture of you and Hayley posted on Facebook. As our favourite band said: We’re only immortal for a limited time. Be well, keep in touch, and hug your family extra hard tonight."

Dreamline

We are young, wandering the face of the earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only immortal for a limited time

Time is a gypsy caravan steals away in the night
To leave you stranded in dreamland
Distance is a long-range filter
Memory, a flickering light left behind in the heartland

We travel in the dark of the new moon
A starry highway traced on the map of the sky
Like lovers and heroes, lonely as eagle's cry
We're only at home when we're on the fly, on the fly

When we are young, wandering the face of the earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only immortal for a limited time

We travel on the road to adventure
On a desert highway, straight to the heart of the sun
Like lovers and hereos, and the restless part of everyone
We're only at home when we're on the run, on the run.

- RUSH


Stay well,
Tim

Sometimes the Future Looks Brighter

It's 12:40 am right now on Sunday. I just got back from picking up the boys from the movies. 

A blizzard is on its way and the snow has started. The roads are slick and will be dangerous before long. 

As we were driving along New Maryland Highway and almost at our street we saw a guy staggering along right on the shoulder of the road eating chips or something and clearly not focused on where he was or how he was walking. 

There are minimal streetlights to speak of and this did not look like a good scenario. 

We turned up our street and all agreed that we should go back and check that this guy was okay. Actually, the boys spoke and suggested this before I did. 

So we turned around and headed back to the highway. 

It's a good thing we did. When we got back to him he was on a dark section of the snowy highway but now staggering along in the middle of the road. 

Again, the boys and I immediately agreed that this guy needs our help. 

We pulled up beside him and asked if we could give him a ride. He said sure so I opened the side van door and he climbed in. 

Thankfully, he wasn't too drunk to remember his address in the Applewood subdivision and we headed to his house. 

There is no way this guy would have made it all the way to his house safely tonight in this weather. 

It was very far from where we met him to his home and with his state factored in I don't believe he could have made it. 

One of the boys asked him if he had been at the pub in New Maryland and he said he had been. 

Shouldn't the pub staff have seen what was going on when he got up to leave and started staggering along the highway? Perhaps call a cab for him or something?

We dropped him off at his place and he thanked us. 

The boys and I agree that we did the right thing tonight and even though he was a stranger he needed help. 

Calling the RCMP wouldn't have made sense since they would have taken so long to arrive. 

I just want to say that I'm proud of my boys for speaking the suggestion that we help this man before I said anything. 

I feel good about the future sometimes. 

Stay well,

Tim

Wait! Don’t leave yet please…

Happy New Year.

When Cheryl and I and the boys moved out here to New Brunswick about 12 years ago it was quite full of our Scammell family.
We were moving to a place that actually had a whole bunch of us in reasonably close proximity to each other, give or take 50 kilometers.

My grandmother Annie was living in her house in Fredericton on Hansen Street near the University of New Brunswick. She was entering her 90’s and still getting around and living quite independently.
Her house was, and still is, the one that I associated with Fredericton for my whole life.
As I was growing up, whenever my family travelled here this house was our destination.
When I think about Christmas I will always think about Fredericton and being at Granny’s house.

I always hated that drive from Ontario to Fredericton but man did I love it when we got here! I have so many wonderful memories of the Christmas season in Fredericton I could fill pages of a separate entry on that topic alone.

I’ve mentioned this before but throughout my life I always felt more at home when I was in Fredericton than anywhere else in the world. When we decided to move out here it was quite easy for me.

Of course when we were in Fredericton we drove across the Saint John River to Devon to visit two of my favourite people in the whole world, Uncle Maurice and Aunt Dorie. They were actually my great-uncle and great-aunt, my father’s uncle and aunt. It was always such a fantastic treat when we went to visit.
Sadly, Dorie passed away a few years before we moved here but Uncle Maurice still lived alone on School Street in Devon.
Just prior to our moving here Maurice was moved into a home in Oromocto but the house sat empty.

My dad’s older brother, my Uncle Jim and Aunt Margie had moved back to New Brunswick when Jim retired and bought a house in Beaverdam. Beaverdam is about 5 minutes further out of Fredericton than New Maryland is. Uncle Jim also passed away a few years before we moved here but Aunt Margie stayed in the house in Beaverdam.

My lovely cousin Megan and her husband Peter lived in a great place just outside of Stanley. It was a hobby farm where they had all sorts of different animals such as horses, dogs, cats, chickens and whatever else roamed around the place.
It was a bit of a drive and lousy during bad weather but we loved visiting them. The boys loved interacting with the assorted creatures and would help with whatever needed to be done.
We would have a delicious dinner then head out to the back for a bonfire when it became dark.

Peter worked for Fundy National Park in a little place called Alma which was down on the Bay of Fundy. During the week he would stay at a cottage that they had bought on Mechanic Lake just outside the park. This saved him driving many hours every day to and from home to work.

Many times in the summers Peter and Megan would let us use their cottage during the weekend and our family would have a Fundy weekend in the park and surrounding area.
These trips were priceless with the beautiful scenery and trails to explore.
On one of the trips the boys rented kayaks as Cheryl and I watched from the shore. While they were on the water a mother and two young moose came to the water’s edge for a drink and look around! The boys were able to get within 30 feet of them!
That’s a valuable rare opportunity for certain.

Very shortly after moving to New Brunswick Uncle Maurice passed away and we were robbed of the opportunity to spend more time with a great man.
Their little house on School Street was sold and the “SCAMMELL” letters that Uncle Maurice had put up beside the front door were taken down.
One of my thoughts when we were coming to live here was that the boys would get to spend time with Maurice and enjoy being around him as I had growing up. I think they only saw him 2 or 3 times in their lives. And that sucks.

In late 2013 Megan was taken away from us. Another huge hole was punched into the family that could never be filled again.
Understandably, it was difficult for Peter to remain in the home and life that they had made together without her. Peter sold the place at Mechanic Lake and in the end of 2014 sold the house near Stanley and moved to Toronto to take a great job.

A few days before my birthday in June we lost my grandmother. She was 102 years old!
I thought that perhaps she would make a run for a few more years but she decided that she had done well enough. She used to tell people that she wanted to beat her sister who had passed away in her 90’s.
Now that she had done so she was okay to go any time.
It may have been okay for her but it still hurt like hell for the rest of us. One thing I am very thankful of is that we were able to spend a lot of time with her while living here.
I think that I met my great-grandmothers once or twice before they died but I don't remember them at all. My sons saw Granny quite a but and are old enough to always have clear memories of her.
But it’s a strange feeling when we realize that someone that has been here for our whole lives is now gone.

Granny’s house had sat empty for several years when she moved into the home. My dad told me that even though it was empty, nothing would be changed as long as Granny was alive.
As of this moment, her house on Hansen Street is up for sale.

A few months ago it was decided that my Aunt Margie would sell the house in Beaverdam and move into a place in Ottawa to be closer to my cousin Jamie. The house was put up for sale and sold just a little while ago. The deal actually closes today.

So, in a few short months New Brunswick has gone from having our Scammells in many areas to only two. My father and step-mother in Lower Queensbury and ourselves in New Maryland.

It would be great if someone in the family would move back to New Brunswick someday but in the meantime let’s not get any smaller, okay?

I don’t like goodbyes and don’t want to say any more.

Stay well,
Tim

Wow...

Something really insane happened at the Transportation Committee meeting tonight when the Mayor showed up to have a word with the members. 

I won't get into the details here yet out of respect and the Mayor's request that we keep it confidential until she has had a chance to speak to the members of all of the other Committees of Council as well as the Transportation Committee members that weren't there tonight. 

I'll just say that the mood and energy of the committee up to that point tonight came crashing down to nothing. 

Plus, I really didn't care what we talked about after that anyway because it is now clear that the Village clearly places a value of zero on what the public members of its committees contribute or say. 

I suppose it could be a control thing too. That is probably a very large part of what is about to go down. 

Anyway, there will be first and second reading of the Village bylaw amendment soon and the third and final reading will follow the month afterwards. 

My biggest fear is that the Village business and expertise is about to be drastically changed and not for the better. 

What some people may see as a savings of time and money will end up costing much much more in the long run. Shortsightedness is a constant trait in many groups and organizations that I have been a part of throughout my life. 

Too many little bean counters want their little piles of beans to look wonderful when someone comes by to see it. 

There is no regard or consideration for what is sacrificed from other crucial bean piles to get their piles so lovely but they usually don't care. 

Plus, these beaners HATE when someone comes by and tries to tell them what to do with those beans and suggest ways to use the beans wisely. 

So the beaners shut them out and have the well meaning folks taken out of the equation with everything within their power. 

I'm glad that I've met several beaners that genuinely appreciate input and find ways to listen and implement suggestions that come their way. 

But the Village looks like it's not going to be one of the good ones. 

And that's a shame. 

It's looking more and more like I may have to take another stab at that Council thing sooner than later to see just what the hell is going on in there. 

If the people will take me. 

We have a while to talk about that though. 

For now I'll just get kicked around along with the other members. 

Stay well,

Tim

Another year starts...

"Be a good boy, have a good day, have an adventure, and be safe."

I've been saying this to the boys at the beginning of each school day since they were little. 

My days of saying that to them are numbered I know. 

Today they start grade 11. 

Another school year begins. 

Wish us luck. 

Stay well,

Tim

Rallying the troops

Another email and letter was received today concerning the York arena. 

Here you go: 

 

Good Afternoon FYHA Members,

 

Please see the attached letter from FYHA President, John Saunders addressing his concerns over the York Arena. The meeting at City Hall is on August 6th and open to the public, I would advise that all members take time to attend this meeting and show your support for the York Arena.

 

Best Regards,

 

Jonathan Brown
General Manager 
Fredericton Youth Hockey Association 
900 Hanwell Road
Suite 13
Fredericton, NB
E3B 6A2

P: 506-451-1333
F: 506-451-1325
E: ed@fyha.ca
W: www.fyha.ca

If you do not wish to receive further e-mails from FYHA please contact me and I will remove you from our mailing list.

And here is the attached letter from the president. 

August 1, 2014
Dear FYHA Membership,

As you may have heard, City Council will be meeting Wednesday, August 6th at Noon to discuss the possibility of closing the York Arena on a 1-year trial basis. For those who are unaware, when the Grant Harvey Centre opened, the York Arena was given a 2-year grace period to allow for the city to adjust and see what impact the new facilities would have on the demand for ice time.

With 1036 members in 2011-12, 1064 in 2012-13 and recently 1156 in 13-14 we cannot afford to lose the York Arena. This past season our association spent 73% more on ice time versus 2011-12, and added approximately an additional 50 hours on a weekly basis. Last season our association rented 27 hours per week at the York Arena, with the potential loss of the facility the city of Fredericton will not be able to support the needs of our growing association. This means FYHA will be forced to either cap registration numbers at 900-950 kids or be forced to send teams on icy roads in the middle of winter to Chipman, Minto, Keswick and Stanley. As President of FYHA I cannot say I feel good about either alternative.

Our objective as a minor hockey association is to provide the opportunity for a maximum number of players to participate in physical activity and the game we all love. Limiting the number of available ice times in the city by shutting down the York Arena as part of a 1-year pilot project will eliminate us from reaching our goals as an organization.

Please be advised that the meeting on August 6th is open to the public at City Hall. The FYHA highly advises that all supporters of minor hockey (parents, grandparents, children, aunts/uncles) in the Fredericton area attend this meeting and show council your support for the York Arena. Our association and the success of minor winter sport in the Fredericton region depend on it.

Yours in Hockey,

John Saunders

 FYHA President

 

Personally, I have been in touch with several members of Fredericton City Council that I consider friends who have all stated that they will be voting against any closure of the arena and it must stay open. 

I believe them and feel confident that this vote will go on the direction of those that know how important the York Arena is. 

Incidentally, I posted a link to my last blog entry on a Facebook group that I am a member of. Most of the group members understand heritage and the value of places like this. They commented their messages of support and agreement. 

The first comment however was someone who only said "Boo Hoo". 

I'll give that person the benefit of the doubt and assume that the sentiments are genuine sadness at the prospect of losing the York Arena. No one could be surly enough to inject sarcasm into this matter, could they? 

I can't inagine that anyone would have such a blatant lack of caring for a part of local heritage and kids' activities. 

I remain optimistic. 

Stay well,

Tim

Another Piece of History at Risk

I just got this from the General Manager of the Fredericton Youth Hockey Association concerning the ill-advised proposal of the City of Fredericton to close the York Arena for a "trial" year.

We aren't stupid though. Once they close it for a year the bean counters will say "Look! The hockey association survived for a whole year without the York Arena! Let's rip it down now." 

No matter how much the hockey association suffers and grinds along painfully for that "trial" year, the bean counters will ignore it and push for demolition. 

I would like to think that among my friends on Fredericton Council there will be enough with common sense to vote against this. 

Here's today's letter:

Hello Members,

 

Please see the attached letter regarding the current status of the York Arena. We encourage all members to contact their Councillor and inform them of the negative impacts this would have on our association.

 

PS – Online registration will be available on Tuesday, August 5th after the holiday (for returning members only.) In-House registration will be happening Sept. 11 – 6-8pm, Sept. 12 – 6-9pm and Sept. 13 – 9am-12pm @ Willie O’Ree Place.

 

Yours in hockey,

 

Jonathan Brown

General Manager 

Fredericton Youth Hockey Association 

900 Hanwell Road

Suite 13

Fredericton, NB

E3B 6A2

P: 506-451-1333

F: 506-451-1325

E: ed@fyha.ca

W: www.fyha.ca

Here is the attachment: 

Attention: FYHA Membership,

Please be advised that next week City Council will be voting on a trial 1-year shut down of the York Arena. It should be noted that during the 2013-14 season FYHA rented approximately 130 hours per week from the city of Fredericton, 26.5 of these hours were at the York Arena.

The York Arena was our second most used ice surface in 13-14 and holds approximately 57 rentable hours per week. According to our information, the York Arena’s primetime ice usage was at 83% last season with FYHA contributing to 46% of the primetime hours.

If the York Arena is shut down we automatically lose 26.5 hours of ice time, plus additional hours due to the redistribution of available ice times to other user groups impacted by the closure of the York Arena. Prior to the opening of the Grant Harvey Centre, FYHA was receiving approximately 85 hours on a weekly basis and teams were having to travel to rural areas (Nackawic, Stanley, Keswick, Chipman, Minto, etc) for games and practices. A direct loss of 26-plus hours per week would cause for our teams to travel outside the city again and directly hurt our association.

It is safe to say that closing the York Arena, even for a 1-year trail would not only be detrimental to our program and a safety concern for our members but a huge let-down in trying to solve an ice shortage issue in our city. We encourage all members to call or e-mail Mayor Woodside, their Councillor and inform them of the negative outcome this will cause to our association and all children who play winter ice sports.

http://www.fredericton.ca/en/citygovernment/CityCouncil.asp

Yours in Hockey,

Jonathan Brown

General Manager

Fredericton Youth Hockey Association 900 Hanwell Road, Suite 13 Fredericton, NB E3B 6A2

I suppose we will have to see if common sense prevails or if the bean counting purse string pullers with a lack of foresight will win this. 

Even if I didn't have kids that play hockey I would realize that it is not a good idea to close York Arena. 

I know however, that those seeking to shut York down will eventually have their way. 

They shut the Nashwaaksis Arena and tore it down against public outcry. 

The Coliseum was closed up as well. 

I realize that I do not pay taxes in the City of Fredericton. 

However, New Maryland pays a heck of a lot of money for our residents to be able to play in the City. It's part of a Recreation Agreement between the Village and the City. 

Plus, I pay as much as anyone else for hockey registration.

What the City is worried about is the costs of keeping the older arenas open and up to standards. 

It's my opinion that the City of Fredericton suck it up and do what it takes to do this. 

But that's just me...

Stay well,

Tim